The Premarital Process at Grace
This is an exciting season of preparation and expectation! As special and as memorable as your wedding day will be, it is a marriage that thrives and lasts a lifetime that will enrich lives and bring glory to God.
What does Grace offer?
The best way to prepare for marriage is to learn more about God’s design for marriage and to seek wise counsel within the context of a marriage mentoring relationship.
We consider the individual needs of each engaged couple, but in general our process looks like this and takes several months to complete:
Complete the online couple profile, then meet in person with a Grace pastor for approval to move forward with the Premarital Process.
We will arrange for you to meet with a professional counselor to help you learn more about yourself, your fiancé, and the building blocks for a strong marriage.
We will work closely with you to find a mentor couple that you are committed to meeting with before you are married and for the 12 months following your wedding.
During the process you will be asked to read “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas. This book will be discussed with your officiating pastor. Please note: Your officiating pastor may require additional reading.
Why go through all of these steps?
Laying a sound foundation of healthy communication, relational support, and scriptural truth can deepen your love, heighten your joy, and give you tools to help you deal with whatever the future holds. Marriage preparation at Grace is not merely a checklist, it is a relational journey. We meet with you in person, spend time getting to know you as a couple, and employ effective tools to help guide you through the process.
If you have any questions about the Premarital Process, contact Dani Stricker, Adult Discipleship Assistant.
How to Get Started
We are delighted you have decided to partner with Grace to prepare for your marriage! This process takes several months to complete.
- Please read the FAQs before moving to the next step.
- Click the “Start the Process” button to complete your Online Couple Profile and accept the Premarital Process Agreement.
- Schedule a meeting with a Grace Pastor. Once your couple profile has been completed, we will contact you within one week to set up an introductory meeting with a Grace Pastor for approval to move forward with the Premarital Process.
- Reserve the date. If you plan to get married at Grace or have a Grace pastor officiate your wedding, contact Dani Stricker to get information about reserving a date and wedding packages.
- Meet with your professional counselor regularly. We will refer you to a professional counselor. You will meet with that counselor for a total of 3-4 sessions. (Counseling fees are the responsibility of the engaged couple.)
- Meet with the pastor marrying you. If a Grace pastor is officiating at your wedding, you will meet with your pastor a minimum of two months prior to your wedding date. Your pastor will walk through the Premarital Process with you.
- After your wedding. Meet with the agreed upon premarital mentor couple several times prior to your wedding and for 12 months post wedding.
You can look forward to being on this journey together! It will enrich your relationship, deepen your faith and give your marriage a strong start.
If you have any questions about this process, contact Dani Stricker, Adult Discipleship Assistant.
Here are some things to consider to help determine if Grace’s Premarital Process is a good fit for you:
If you have questions or concerns about any part of the process, please do not hesitate to contact Dani Stricker, Adult Discipleship Assistant.
Do you consider Grace your church home?
Our Premarital Process is intended to support couples who are a part of the Grace family. Connection is one of our Six Essentials. By connecting with others in a mentoring relationship you can experience authentic community that will support you during the premarital stage and on into your marriage. We want Grace to be a place where you are known and loved and where your marriage can thrive. Your regular engagement with your church family is the first step in making that happen.
Do you have a shared commitment to follow Jesus?
We believe your marriage will only flourish when you are both actively pursuing an honest relationship with Jesus. However, we acknowledge that faith journeys take twists and turns and individuals can be at different points along the way. This is something to openly discuss together with your pastor and marriage mentors during the Premarital Process.
Are you both willing to meet regularly with a premarital mentor and/or counselor?
Couples who participate in some type of premarital preparation process are 30% more likely to have a successful marriage than couples who do not. The more you, as a couple, put into this process, the more you will get out of it. We believe that meeting with a mentor couple and a professional counselor is an invaluable resource and expands your community of support.
If you are remarrying after a divorce, have you had a season of intentional time to heal?
Divorce is painful and it takes time and intentionality to recover. So before you consider remarriage, we ask that at least one year has passed since the time of your finalized divorce and that you have engaged in some type of process or program to facilitate personal healing. We believe in God’s power to redeem, heal, and restore and that your second marriage can be strong.
Are you willing to practice sexual purity during your engagement?
In today’s culture, sex outside of marriage is commonplace; viewed as natural and even necessary. Yet God calls for a different and ultimately healthier choice – reserving sexual intimacy for marriage alone. Your engagement is a crucial time of preparation and clarity and nothing is more distracting than having a sexual relationship before you are married.
We believe that practicing abstinence throughout the Premarital Process and until your wedding date is one of the best decisions you can make for the health of your relationship.
Premarital Process FAQs
Do we need to be engaged to go through the Grace Premarital Process?
Yes. The Premarital Process is for engaged couples.
Do we have to attend Grace to participate in the Premarital Process?
Yes. The Premarital Process is for engaged couples who consider Grace their home church.
How long does it take to complete the process?
The process takes several months to complete.
Who are the mentor couples?
A mentor couple is an agreed upon couple who have been married for at least five years and demonstrate a strong relationship with God and an ongoing pursuit of a healthy marriage.
Where do we meet with our mentor couple?
Couples can meet at any agreed upon location (Grace, home, etc.).
How often do we meet with our mentor couple, and for how long?
You will work out a schedule with your mentors that is convenient for both couples.
You will be asked to be committed to meeting several times before the wedding and for 12 months post wedding. Meetings should last 1-2 hours.
What curriculum do you use?
We utilize a combination of the Prepare Enrich assessment, required reading, counseling, and meetings with your officiating pastor to help you prepare for marriage.
What is the cost?
There is no registration fee for premarital counseling. Total costs will vary depending on professional counseling fees, pastor honorariums, and Grace wedding packages (the cost to have your wedding at Grace). Contact Dani Stricker for cost details.
Do we need to complete the Premarital Process in order to get married at Grace?
Yes. We believe this process is vital to a healthy start to your marriage.